After a decade of crafting tiny little games with my friends, it is time for me to move on. Before I go, let me tell you the story of 3 Halves Games, for the first time, but also the last.

I started 3 Halves Games a decade ago, in early 2015, with two other friends. Our goal at the time was to create a single game, a JRPG-inspired mobile game called Eons Lost. We saw a market where mobile games were not living up to their true potential of being mobile titles, and we wanted to fill that vacancy with a game that could be played in many different places, for many different amounts of time.

As part of our journey to create that game, we put out many titles I am still so, so proud of. We started off with quite the bang when we released our first free game, Animal Crackers. At the time, we published to a little known site called Itch, only to find out we got featured on the homepage the next day. I was really shocked when this happened, but so, so happy!

The plan following that was to slowly build our way up, one game jam game at a time, until we had enough skills among all of us to release our dream game. War of the Lilies served as an in-universe preview of that game, and marked our first usage of the Unity game engine, back when Unity 5 was still very new. EXTRA PLANETARY let us push our knowledge of the engine even further.

And then, using the same framework we had been working on, we spun up A Flower from Hermes. The idea here was to see just how scalable and usable our tooling for Eons Lost was. To our amazement, it was very, very versatile. I felt unstoppable. It felt like, even with a scope as large as what we had imagined for our JRPG, we were actually capable of doing it. We planned a Kickstarter campaign and were days away from hitting the go button, but…

…well, the team fell apart. At the time, now 2017, it felt like this might have been the end of the road for us. I was too aggressive and put too much pressure on my collaborators, my friends. And in doing so, I soured relationships with people I loved and cared about. Even more, I had gotten hired to do Unity game development full-time.

At this point, I had officially entered the industry. I took what little we had, released it as Eons Lost: Arrival and, in that moment, felt disgusted with what I had created. It only served to remind me of what could have been, and looking at the game really did hurt.

But I wasn’t yet ready to give up on 3 Halves Games.

In the aftermath, I went in a strange direction with my games. OH! Is This Baseball?? emerged out of all this and, even now, I still really love this silly, stupid game. More weird micro-experiences followed out of this, including the popular What Do You Do When You Ask Four People Out and They All Say Yes? (WDYDWYAFPOATASY) and the not-so-popular Din in the Seventeenth Minute. Another web-based game, this time a Visual Novel, came out of this era, with Cooped Up! releasing in early 2020 during the pandemic.

But in the background, I had found new drive and motivation. A different friend decided to join me and we had a big, big game we wanted to make. You know what game it is, even without me saying it. Of course, it could be nothing else but the biggest title we ever created, Sovereign Tea.

But before our Kickstarter, I had one more small project in me: Starwatchers: The Search for Cosmic Jam. I still think that’s one of the best-looking games I’ve made and am to this day still in love with it. But it always will live in the shadow of Sovereign Tea. Everything will, because if there was one game and only one game to remember my independent work by, it’s that one.

Sovereign Tea still feels like a fever dream. I still can’t believe it actually came out on schedule. I still can’t believe it came out as well as it did. And I still can’t believe people actually played it all the way through. Thank you so much to everybody who did. It was quite possibly the most important piece of art I will ever make. Thank you all so, so much for it.

Despite that happiness, after the game released, I found myself in a deep haze and in a dark place. Perhaps it was the feeling, once more, of not knowing where to go or what to do next. What could I possibly make that was bigger and better than that? What feelings could I possibly showcase that I had not in that title?

Due to external life circumstances, I also fell ill. Deeply ill. It was a struggle to do any work. It was a struggle to talk to anybody. I stopped going outside. I stopped playing video games. I stopped doing enjoyable activities. I would often find myself staring a clock, looking away briefly, then looking back only to realize hours had passed.

I was existing, but I wasn’t living. It was in this moment that I began to ask myself what it meant to be human. I asked myself what type of person I wanted to be, and if it were possible to become a person like that. I began to imagine four idealized people, all flawed in their own ways, but all of whom undoubtedly were living life. These became the characters of Tanja, Steffan, Gamal, and Wenyu, the four main major characters of what would become Sincerely, Stampy.

I felt motivated again. I wanted to make games again! And I wanted to push myself to do something I always wanted to do: make my own music! This is how we ended up with games like Please Defeat the Bundesclown, Deadline Duo, and Kiss Three Fish. Silly and tiny as these games are, I’m so glad that I made them. It was a much-needed respite from large, overwhelming projects.

But now, a new chapter is before me. I signed a new contract for a new job, something that one could describe as a dream job. And I know I cannot split my attention or focus to work on these personal games anymore. I also very likely cannot do so legally.

I spent quite a long time asking myself if I was okay with walking away. After all, I never got to finish Sincerely, Stampy. I also never got to finish Eons Lost.

Was I really okay with walking away from it all?

In my heart of hearts, I knew the answer was yes. Especially with my previous health issues, I knew deep down just how detrimental my lifestyle was to me. I need to be a healthier person with healthier habits. And perhaps through this, I will remember what it means to be human again.

To those who have been waiting for those two games, I am so, so sorry. But I am so grateful you cared about them. I’m not a big internet personality, yet somehow, you found my creative works, and you decided to stick around. I truly don’t understand how or why, but I cannot overstate just how thankful I am. If not for you, I would have never made it into the industry. Your support from the beginning has materially improved my life. Please show other small creators this same level of support. I hope everybody can make it.

I will still be around online, if you wanted to follow me on my personal antics. I am excited to be able to post and blog normally, to just talk about things I like, and to not have to worry about if posting about a fun dessert I ate would harm the overall reputation of my indie dev accounts. Maybe it was this social media-induced fear that led me down this dark path to begin with. I’m finally ready to have fun on the internet again.

To my cousin Bader, who always smiled so brightly, I miss you so much. If you were still around I’m sure we’d keep talking about that one night in Amman when we powered through a power outage with shawarma. Thank you for everything. I’ll never forget you.

To my cousin Khaled, who motivated me to pursue my dreams when I was younger, I miss you so much. I think about you every day. You’re still with me, even after all this time. I wish we could have spoken more. Even after all these decades, whenever I come across a photo or video of you, I can’t help but cry. I’ll never forget you.

And to everybody still reading this, thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.

Sincerely,

Marimo